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SOPA, figuratively speaking

I’ve been impressed with the quality of language used to describe the Stop Online Piracy Act. The bill is a disaster for the internet, and its opponents are devising some pretty creative ways of expressing that. Two of my favorites:

From Alexandra Petri on the Washington Post ComPost blog:

This isn’t even throwing the baby out with the bathwater. This is bludgeoning the baby repeatedly with a sledgehammer and then throwing out the whole bathroom.

From Jeffrey Zeldman on A List Apart:

SOPA approaches the piracy problem with a broad brush, lights that brush on fire, and soaks the whole internet in gasoline.

UPDATE: Dec 9: From the great Marvin Ammori, on his letter with Laurence Tribe:

The bills are not limited; they’re sledgehammers not scalpels.

UPDATE: Dec 13: From Julian Sanchez at the Cato Institute:

A third clause says the bill shouldn’t be construed in a way that would impair the security or integrity of the network—which is a bit like slapping a label on a cake stipulating that it shouldn’t be construed to make you fat.

From user roxtafari on Reddit:

SOPA in a nutshell: If a criminal hid counterfeit goods in a bank safe deposit box, SOPA would allow the legitimate IP owner to shut down the entire bank and all other branches without any notice, search warrant, or due process.

UPDATE: Dec 18: From Brad Plumer on Washington Post’s Wonkblog:

Essentially, copyright holders are asking for a really enormous sledgehammer to play this game of whack-a-mole.

I’ll keep updating as I come across good ones, and let me know in the comments if you’ve seen one.